majiksznak

Hi ladies, have you ever wanted to meet a guy that cOuld give you the best of boTh worlds, you know what I mean....like attractive enough to turn a few heads yet "boy next door" enough to know not to take love for granted.....rich enough to own his own house and cars yet poor enough to cherish the little things in life like a sMile or a kiss.......active enough to hAve a toned athletIc body yet lazy enough to just cuddLe on the couch on those cold rainy days.....mature enough not to bother playing any head games yet playfull enough to endulge in your every fantacy, and last but not least someone who knows to always treat his girl like the rare treasure that she is. Now if you always wanted to meet someone like this I have some good news for you...you just did, so how about letting him meet you? If you received a smile from me and it said "message me" or "can I see your backstage" it's NOT because I'm cheap, saddley (after waisting several credits) I have found that ALOT of women are on here just to fool around and are not realy interested in meeting someone. This way I'll know your serious and I will be more than happy to re-emburse you on our first date. Besides.....I think a lifetime of love, passion and happiness is worth a $1.35 don't you?

He's pining for the fee-ords!

I find it odd that in a time where personal freedom, personal choice, and personal responsibility is so highly emphasized, there is a tendency to forget that Christians, Muslims, or whoever are personally responsible for their actions. Instead it's (indirectly) insinuated that the Bible and/or Religion somehow controlled them and forced them to be hateful.

Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

They've shot their own sign... what are they going to do to us?

... I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret Catalog! <EEERK> ... Sears Catalog. <DING!> -Moe

• Exhibit A
• Exhibit B
• Exhibit III
• Fourth Exhibit
• Exhibit 5

I never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of "Don't sit on a wall if you're an egg."