majiksznak

Friends don't let Jiz-Wailers drive drunk. A Star Wars drunk driving PSA from '79.

Britney Spears looks like Ursula from The Little Mermaid.

So, craigslist is pretty cool. I used to try to sell stuff on the edm.forsale newsgroup, but that group basically consists of posts selling garbage and posts selling electronics and receiving replies like, "Well, I think you're asking too much. I could get that for XX dollars!"

I'll be making my first purchase through craigslist today: a sweet deal on a memory card. I arranged to meet the seller at a coffee shop, and found what I was typing to be unfortunate:

By the way: I'll be the unshaven, programmer-looking guy with a black shirt that says "Schrodinger's Cat is Dead" on the front and "Schrodinger's Cat is Not Dead" on the back.

I sort of wish I were kidding about that.

Someone posted the poster in the first image above the coffee machine. Seems some uncouth neanderthals have been neglecting to clean the steam wand after using it. Until I get cameras and capital punishment set up, this will have to do.

The poster inspired mimicry on my part, which I hear is the sincerest form of flattery.

So this is why it takes so long to get a Coke out of a Coke machine.

This is the most awesome thing ever. A guy who baits 419 scammers into carving shit for him... Such as a wooden replica of a Commodore 64!

Awesome pizza ad. It was mentioned in the previous post and deserves its own spotlight.

This anti-smoking ad is pretty cool.

Stevie Wonder performing Superstition on Sesame Street. Awesome. This is one of his absolute best.

AAAAAAAAAH! Giant centpiede eats bat. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Spider-Man's got problems.

This soccer injury faker really sucks at it. I think that kind of bullshit should get you kicked out of the sport.

Hidden camera gags in Japan are so much more hardcore.

From Strong Bad email # 89.

How to win an eBay Auction: duh.

How much do you know about Christopher Walken? Apparently, I know 8 out of 10... things... about Christopher Walken.

How fast can you climb a ladder? Not as fast as this guy.

Strong Bad on radio DJs. I love how he sums up college radio in 5 words:

Dead air, um, dead air.

This police officer is the most hardcore police officer I have ever seen. You see him hanging out of the window shooting at a pickup truck, then jumping into that pickup truck to stop the driver.

Herbie Hancock demonstrating a Fairlight on Sesame Street.

Jesus Saves you from infection.

Do my eyes deceive me? God forbid, does the Internet decieve me? Futurama is coming back!

Global Warming.

Paris Hilton is not only a worthless human being, but she is also a world-class bitch. She lands her helicopter at some guy's farm and has her bodyguards keep the family out of their own house so she can use the bathroom.

This LED sign you can put on the back of your car is something I've thought about since I started driving. I'm glad someone is selling this.

The Urban Dictionary's definition of "Angry" includes this picture. Thanks, Heather.

I've just gotten into the whole del.icio.us thing. It's actually quite slick. As with many things, such as RSS, it has taken me a while to actually figure out why I should be using it.

So, folks: what insane new Net fads have I missed in the past 2 years or so?

Cower before my Exploding Piles Technique! This video made me smile. It's a demo of a pen-based 3D desktop file management prototype that aims to increase intuitiveness by letting users mimic real-world document management. For instance, you can fold the corners of a document to mark it, or rotate some items in a pile to set them apart.

17 Mistakes Microsoft Made in the XBox Security System. Here's some interesting information I was not aware of:

The reason for this is that Microsoft bought cheap RAM chips; they just took everything Samsung could give them to lower the price, even faulty ones, i.e. chips that will be unstable when clocked at the highest frequencies specified.

The Xbox is supposed to find out the highest clock speed the RAM chips can go and run them at this frequency - this is the reason why some games don't run as smoothly on some Xboxes as on others. So the startup code in the secret ROM has to do a memory test, and if it fails, clock down the RAM, do another memory test, and if it fails again, clock down again, and so on, until the test succeeds or the RAM cannot be clocked down any further.

Onion article: I'm Not One Of Those Fancy College-Educated Doctors.

Beef controversy in India: references to Hindus eating beef have been removed from textbooks. Thanks, TSA.

Disturbing sculptures found in children's recreational parks.

A memo from Matt Stone to the MPAA. After repeated clinical references to ridiculously rude content, he signs P.S. This is my favorite memo ever.

An article about the new Mac vs. PC ads. I've seen a couple of them so far, and the Mac guy just seems like a total cock.

As you may or may not know, Marlon Brando appears in the new Superman movie. Here is a video detailing the work that went into including him.

Krrish is a Bollywood movie about a superhero who enjoys walking the copyright-infringement line and having a name that looks like onomatopoeia for abruptly stepping on a bag of ice.

Ninjas! Guys: you can't really really do shadow puppets effectively during the day.

Insane Folgers commercial.

From Cute Overload, the most adorable bunny ever.

Fantastic Planet re-scored with IDM music. You may havve seen this film on Bravo or something The original movie is this disturbing animated movie from the 70s about a planet where odd looking blue giants treat humans basically like we treat animals.

The Superman movie that never was. Tim Burton was going to direct the next Superman Movie in the late 90s.

Seems I am not alone when it comes to telling people to stop doing stupid things. Here's another poster.

The near-constant screaming in Japanese really brings this video of a complex chain reaction together. I especially liked the Japanese word for "bowling".

This is horrible but in a "I'm laughing! Oh, now I'm ashamed that I laughed" way. Some white guy on Maury finds out that the black kid he and his white wife have been raising isn't his... I laughed at first, then seeing the guy not only surprised but also very hurt made me feel sad that I laughed...

Jesus says: don't be a dick.

An advertisement for "Sofa King".

Art is a sham.

This Savage Love article (Dan Savage's sex column) has given me a fantastic way of refering to "shaking hands with the unemployed":

Engaging in hand-to-gland combat

Stupid Internet Movie: Are you ready for sex? Warning: people in underwear. Warning 2: stupid.

Solo The Movie. Thanks, Gregmita!

The Onion: Stanley Cup Celebrations.

1983: Avid fisherman Mike Bossy of the Islanders uses it as a lure, and successfully catches the biggest, most Canadian fish in history

Satanic cat!

Michael Jackson appears on Japanese TV. He appears extremely confused. The hosts are awestruck in a very odd way. I'd love for someone to translate this. Part 2.

Threadless T-Shirts sells t-shirts that come from customer submissions. I guess they pick the good ones and manufacture them. It seems like a good system, as the shirts end up being a lot cheaper than on other shirt websitse. I've submitted some slogans that I'd totally wear (and one that just popped into my head, which sucks). Can you guess which is which?

Cuckoo! Jenna Elfman is a Scientologist.

It's really cheesy, but this video might help you explain DRM to your parents or something.

The PS3 controller..

David Hasselhoff's rendition of Secret Agent Man. Just wait till you see the jetpack. Thanks, Hymie / Gregmita!

The Lyrebird mimics sounds it hears in its mating call. My jaw dropped when I heard some of the man-made noises it was copying. It's better than Michael Winslow! Um... that guy from Police Academy... Police Academy? The guy with the sound effects? Yeah. I'm dating myself.

I can't understand being this desperate to meet Jennifer Love-Hewitt.

The Borat Movie is coming.

Slanted mouse pad. Seems like a good idea.

Story about a group of people who regard the future as being behind them and the past in front.

Mashup of 3 instructional videos.

General Zod shirt... It's so hard for me not to buy this. I'm really torn.

This is so cool.

I find this video of a busted tabla drum machine oddly entertaining.

Human rights are bad!

PC vs. Mac.

Gnarls Barkley performing "Crazy" as Darth Vader.

How boring: an actual blog post.

I did pretty well at improv. It felt good being on stage, and it felt comfortable. I credit Bill Minsky's classes as well as the Monday night workshops taught by various pros. I also credit the crowd for being "laughy".

Calling all nerds! I've got a PDF that consists of 1-bit color scans of a typed document. I need to do PDF->OCR->text. Recommendations?

What the Hell?

Bi-weekly means "once every 2 weeks" or "twice a week". I don't like it. You can't use it in a sentence and be explicit about what you mean without adding further explanation. Maybe I just don't know how to do it right.

I'm suspicious that this is one of those words that people misused so many times that its incorrect meaning became a part of the language. The fact that you can also use "semiweekly" to say "twice a week" makes me think that at one point, bi-weekly only meant "once every 2 weeks" but so many people used "bi-weekly" incorrectly that now we have a worthless word.

Maybe someone who reads this knows where to find that kind of info.

Men's synchronized swimming. Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest, and Martin Short.

Flash Animation fights back.

Japanese game show. I can't even begin to describe it.

I can't be arsed to watch it now, but check out this video of a guy totally kicking ass at Punch-Out.

So it's been a while since I mentioned Britney and K-Fed. I wish I could say it's because they're both dead, but really it's just from being sick of the same old shit.

New developments, however, include that Britney is filing for divorce and that Kevin Federline wants to make a movie about his life...

I wonder if Britney's career will recover. I wonder if K-Fed's Gong Show-esque entertainment value will continue to wane.

Kitten and Macbook. Awwwwww.

Another Something Awful bit. This time about impossibly horrid customers.

Something Awful concisely sums up the console wars.

My gorgeous Dell 2005FPW monitor is ruined. I managed to leave it on for 2 days with no screensaver whatsoever. It's full of horrible lines now.

Fortunately, a bit of Google work suggests that if you leave an LCD monitor off for a few days, the "burnt in" pixels will fade away. Apple also suggests creating an all white image and displaying it full screen for a few days.

I'll let you know if it works.

<Professor Farnsworth>Morons!</Professor Farnsworth>

I was in Calgary for Eric's housewarming on Saturday. His apartment is right by the bow river, where I got these shots of geese and their goslings.

Cats!

Penny Arcade on what life would have been like when we were young if shock news reporting were as bad as it is today.

Water powered car.

The 10 worst engineering mistakes of all time.

Oilers fans... Dawn of the Drunk. Thanks, Erin!

Katie Holmes almost escapes:

Picture 1: I'm free! I've made it!

Picture 2: Not so fast! Oh no, he caught me!

(Less interesting: they were playing softball or something, but I'll be damned if it doesn't look like she's had enough Nutjobology)

It didn't dawn on me until just now... The new Transformers movie will be directed by Michael Bay. DAMN IT! Already bad news is coming in, such as the fact that Bumblebee isn't a VW Beetle. Why? What's the point in changing that? I can understand changing outdated vehicles for the sake of a movie, but for God's sake, why?!

Pictures from the new Transformers movie on the movie rumor masturbation-est site of them all, Ain't it Cool News.

Also, Michael Bay's blog.